Buried In The Backyard in 1966 - The Birds and the Bees

Let me tell ya bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and the moon up above – and a thing called “Love’ (we’ll all be singing this song to ourselves all day)

Some people come into this world inquisitive and – or looking for trouble and answers. Some of us come into this world born the oldest daughter of a Baptist preacher and his wife and we just figure if there’s anything big in life we really need to know that either God or Daddy and Mommy – or our future husbands will tell us.

I’ve said many times before that Billy and I had the most priceless, wholesome and romantic courtship. We could have been in the Frankie and Annette beach party movies. In fact, WE could have BEEN Frankie and Annette! After the first year, Billy proposed and we began planning our wedding.

But let’s backtrack to grade school – and heavenly day – I hope this was as early as the 3rd grade or so. I’d sure hate to think I’d ask a question like this as an older kid. But you know me – anything is possible.

We were on recess at Clark Grade School one day way back in the 1950’s and were playing under that big tree on the playground and Karen and Brenda were giggling about something to do with the birds and the bees. I asked what they were giggling about and they wouldn’t tell me. This was my life story. Everybody always had secrets but nobody ever wanted to share them with me because I was a preacher’s kid.

Now I’ve said before that Brenda and Karen almost destroyed my self esteem as a little girl. THEY were the team. “I” was the 3rd wheel. They had the best of everything – the store bought clothes (mom made ours) and fancy shoes and the double can can slips to go under their skirts (I only had one can can) And being a preachers kid and one of 3 little girls we didn’t have a lot of extra cash laying around to buy fancy anything.

Mom made our clothes and I had that ONE can can to go under my skirts that mom made and my old socks ALWAYS had holes in them and would slide down in my shoes. TO THIS DAY – socks are the one thing I will pay a good price for – because I CANNOT STAND socks that slide down in shoes. So I may have worn a dress I bought in 1993 to our grandson’s wedding about 3-4 years ago but if I had needed socks to go with that dress – they would have been the best socks money could buy.

So anyway – I went on through my school day after Brenda and Karen refusing to tell me what they were giggling about – about the birds and the bees – and I went home and asked daddy – my very own personal information station. “Daddy?” I asked, “What is it about the birds and the bees?” He looked kind of shocked and said “Well why do you want to know about birds and bees all of a sudden?” I said “Well Brenda and Karen were giggling about it at school and they wouldn’t tell me” Daddy said, “Oh I see. Well, honey – birds fly and bees buzz. Is there anything else you’d like to know?” I said “Is THAT all?” So I just skipped on away to make mud pies and didn’t have any more questions.

So now let’s fast forward to 1966. I was now engaged to the most adorable guy the good Lord had ever put on the face of this earth and he had been drafted so I was at Charlie’s Sani Serve with my best friend Linda and we were having cherry cokes and Linda asked me if I had ever found out about the relationship between a husband and wife (she didn’t know either) and I said “No” So Linda said, “Well don’t you think you should be finding out because you’re getting married in just a few months?” I said “Well I’m not worried about it because I’ll be marrying Billy and he knows I don’t know anything about intimate stuff so it will all be ok.” She said, “Now no I don’t think that’s right. I think we need to find out so YOU will know” I said “Well, how are we going to find out?” Linda said, “Well let’s drive to Readmores Book store and see if they have a book of instructions”
So Linda was driving and we headed for Readmores. Inside the store we were as nervous as if we were about to rob the place. We wandered around trying to act like we were up to absolutely nothing and we found a few books we were not sure we should be looking for and one was a little plain black book with no pictures but it said something about ‘The Marriage Manual” or something like that. Looking inside we could see it was talking about this very subject. But THEN we couldn’t get up the nerve to go to the counter and buy the BOOK.
So I said to Linda, “Well this was YOUR idea – so if we’re getting the book YOU’RE the one that’s going to have to go to the check out with it” So she got the book and we headed back to Charlie’s Sani Serve for another cherry coke and to take a look at the book.

WELL!!! WE WERE FLABBERGASTED when we started skimming that BOOK!!! I said “WE SHOULDN’T BE READING THIS BOOK!!!!!!” Linda said, “Well I think you’re right – just take it home and throw it away”

I said “I’M not taking it home – my mom will be waiting UP for me and it was YOUR idea – so YOU take it home and dispose of it”
Linda said, “Well my mom and dad will be asleep – let’s just take it to my house and bury it in the back yard”

So here we went to Linda’s and she got a shovel out of her dad’s shed and at about 8pm on that warm fall evening, here we were – two little innocent wall flowers, burying that scary book in her backyard.

Linda and I were both married within a year or so and for all these decades since, when we run into each other we laugh about that book. A few years ago Kim and I were out together and I had told her about the book years ago and Linda and I were cutting up and acting like we always do when we see each other and out of the clear blue sky, Kim just said “Linda, I know about the book” And Linda just started squealing and laughing and then we all did the same. You could hear us all over the store. Kim said “Is the book still in your backyard?” Linda said “YES IF IT HASN’T DISINTEGRATED” And we just squealed and laughed until we couldn’t hardly breathe.

We never did really get anything out OF that book that night at Charlie Sani Serve. We were too shocked at what we were reading so we thought it was best we just play it by ear when the time came. But now YOU know about the book that we buried in Linda’s backyard and if you run into her one day at Big John’s – just wink at her and smile and say “Hey Linda – I know about that book in your backyard.”

Peace and Love from the canyon. I love you all gobs and thanks so SO much for stopping by. This has been a bird’s eye view of the world of the katydid and until next time, you are loved.

Let’s just reminisce and I’ll put all the words to this song right here for all of us …

Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called “Love”
Let me tell ya ’bout the stars in the sky
And a girl and a guy
And the way they could kiss
On a night like this.
When I look into your big brown eyes
It’s so very plain to see
That it’s time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from A to Z.
Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called “Love” (Yeah! )
When I look into your big brown eyes
It’s so very plain to see
That it’s time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from A to Z.
Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called “Love”
Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
‘Bout the birds
(Fade)
And the bees